Confidence is something that I’ve struggled with since my early years. Looking back, I now know that my lack of confidence stemmed from not understanding who I was as a person and what my gifts were. Second guessing myself was the norm for me. Throughout my years as a Love Coach, I’ve realized that many people struggle with confidence and ultimately don’t know the steps on how to build it. There are also those fortunate people who have come into this world with an abundance of confidence, which certainly could have been nurtured through their familial upbringing. For the rest of us, this is a common struggle.
Are you someone who feels a lack of confidence in your day to day life? Well, there’s no need to worry because this is something you can definitely work on and build more of.
Before we start, let’s go over the actual definition of confidence: “The quality of being certain of your abilities.”
Keeping this definition in mind, below are three things confident people do differently when dating.
People who are confident know, deep down inside, that they are capable in many areas of their life, and this is clearly shown in the way they communicate. When communicating, confident individuals speak positively of themselves whether it be about who they are or what they do. If someone compliments them, they have no problem accepting with a wide smile and a gracious “thank you”. Think about the last compliment you received: did you accept and acknowledge it or did you deflect it attempting to be modest? If you’re someone who routinely deflects compliments when they come your way; this is a relatively easy pattern to change by practicing and remaining mindful. Working with a friend and doing some role play will really help you to practice to receive compliments about your abilities and gifts. By rejecting someone’s compliment, you are communicating to that person that you’re not certain of what they’re saying, and don’t believe it yourself. The next time someone compliments you, be sure to be aware of what you’re saying back to them. Remember this takes time, but breaking the pattern and accepting a compliment will go a long way when trying to attract love.
Bold Body Language
Confident people stand, sit and walk in a powerful way. Think of someone you know who is confident. Now picture the way they walk when they go into a room. Confident people never slouch. Their shoulders are back and their chest and abs are sturdy. For some people, confident body language comes naturally, however for others they can’t help but to slouch and take up less space. If you watch a confident person you will notice that they take up more physical space then those around them. They’re really not afraid to stretch out their arms and legs. If you’re someone who is slouching and making yourself smaller during a date, you could be feeling unworthiness, unsureness, or timid. Not to worry, having great body posture is something you can practice at home.
Studies have shown that if you are able to move your body posture into a more confident pose, your mind changes in the process. A popular TedTalk by Amy Cuddy talks about the influence of power poses and how they can change your confidence by improving your body language. When you start to make changes to your body language, you’ll notice big shifts will happen when you talk to people. Just by taking 10 minutes a day to practice how you stand, sit and walk can help your confidence in a huge way. It’s all about training your mind and body to sync up to help you understand your worth.
Dress To Impress
Dressing well is one of those things that does take time and effort. Humans are visual creatures, and studies have shown that you have three seconds to give off a great impression. As human beings, we often make judgments and assumptions about someone just based on what their wearing and their facial expressions. The truth is most confident people dress well because they value themselves. They take time and effort to get ready and this can include their appearance. Nine times out of ten, confident people will not leave the house without looking their best.