Have you ever listened to a colleague, friend, or family member and whilst doing so your own thoughts of what to respond back come flooding in. For many of us, we tend to listen with our ego rather than with our heart. That being said, when you truly listen to someone with your heart you forget about yourself, you let your ego go. When you loose yourself in the conversation a sense of peace and calm emanates from your heart and aura. You feel as if you are becoming one with the person you are talking to. You are in a state of pure receptivity and understanding. This can be a direct gateway into the person’s story, reality, and most importantly, their heart. When you listen presently and consciously, you are building a heart to heart connection with the person you are talking to. Are you ready to listen with your heart and show someone pure presence? Below are 4 ways you can listen with presence. Smile & BreatheHave you ever noticed when someone is telling a funny story and you’re listening presently you tend to start smiling and laughing. In moments of presence we experience more joy and happiness. It’s because we are listening with our hearts. When you smile, your heart opens automatically. Breathing also brings presence into your experience. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth. When you breathe you are becoming more present which leads to greater listening. Focus Your AttentionFocus your attention to your sense of hearing. Pay attention to your ears and their state. Have all of your consciousness go there. This allows you to be focussed and receptive to what is being said. Allow your senses to be fully in the state of listening. Look At The Persons EyesSometimes when we talk to someone we look at their lips without being able to help it. When we do this, we are not connecting with another person as strongly as we could. A good quote by William Shakespeare is that the eyes are the window to the soul. Whenever I look at someone’s eyes when listening, I usually feel a strong connection to the person I’m talking with. The person you are speaking with will feel listened to and you will connect on a deeper level. Release JudgementSometimes when we are speaking to close friends or family, thoughts of judgement can come rushing in. During these situations it can become hard to be present as the mind is busy creating a negative story. In these situations having a mantra ready can really help you to release any judgement or resentment. A mantra I use and teach my clients is: “I am willing to accept you as you are.” Another good one from The Course in Miracles is: “I am willing to see things differently.” Saying a mantra in your mind 3 times can help to let go of any negative mind chatter.
During the holidays it is quite easy to get wrapped up into our own world. Although the holiday season should be a time for family, friends, and relaxation; it often becomes a time of overspending, over eating, and over scheduling, which can in turn feel hectic and stressful. With the rush of people, and rapid conversations amid the stress of the season it is all to easy to forget what it means to be a good listener. By simply – smiling, breathing, focusing, and letting go of judgement, we allow ourselves to better listen and connect with our loved ones. I wish you all a relaxing holiday season filled with great conversations, laughter, and abundant love and light. Author: Rishma Petraglia