3 Ways To Help You Let Go Of Grief And Loss After A Miscarriage

Although I’ve experienced trauma in my early-twenties, nothing has compared to the level of emotion a miscarriage brings to one’s self.

Giving birth to a baby is a miracle. A pure miracle. A woman’s body is so sacred and magical that it’s able to create something as special as life. Human life.

When I was first pregnant my husband and I were overjoyed with happiness. We couldn’t believe that we were about to meet a beautiful soul to share our lives with. Knowing that we were going to bring a baby into this world was one of the best feelings in the world. Excitement lit up our hearts, and we imagined what our lives would be like when we would meet our baby for the first time.

I vividly remember the day when we found out. I was 4 months pregnant at the time. We met at the doctor’s office, awaiting another ultrasound. This was going to be a special ultra-sound as we were going to find out the sex of the baby. There was such a serene peacefulness about me that day. I was blissful and happy as this was the first ultrasound I had without feelings of morning sickness. I remember lying on the bed, and looking at the screen. The doctor was very silent, and didn’t say a thing. I started to think, “I wonder if something could be wrong”. I said to her, “Is everything okay?” She didn’t answer. I said again, “Is everything okay… how come you’re not saying anything?” Then she responded. “Rishma, I’m sorry but I can’t find a heartbeat.” In that moment, my heart dropped. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My heart started racing, and I wanted to throw up. All I kept saying to my husband was – “What are we going to do? What are we going to do? I can’t go through this?” I was living in my absolute worst nightmare.

That day we came home. We went into the bed. We cried. We screamed. We hurt. We continued to pray and hope that this was a bad dream, and soon we would wake up.

After having this experience, I can’t tell you how many people opened up about having a miscarriage. To know that you’re not alone means so much when you’re going through a kind of suffering like this. I remember going online to read how many women have gone through this experience, and finding thousands of stories. I somehow felt a deep sense of connectedness to women all around the world.

When you haven’t had traumatic experience for such a long time you really forget that many people are suffering around the world, every day, every minute, and that it’s completely real. It’s not until you go through your own suffering that you can have a deep amount of empathy and compassion for people. I see now as a healer, this was an important experience to go through. To help me understand suffering on the deepest level, so I could help people on the deepest level.

I wrote this article to help anyone who’s had a miscarriage and is trying to find peace. Here are 3 ways to help you heal if you’ve had a miscarriage.

Feel Your Pain

It’s easy to distract yourself from feeling during this time, but feeling your pain is crucial. When you don’t feel your emotions, they can store inside of your physical body. Going through, and feeling the dark emotions can be tough at first, but doing so will help you to feel lighter quicker. This will take time, nevertheless sitting in silence and allowing negative emotions to come up will help you heal faster. The various emotions that may come up could be: guilt, shame, anger, hurt, blame, resentment, or disappointment. When these emotions are not felt, they will usually store around the heart, and sacral chakras. Getting a reiki treatment after a miscarriage can help you to let go of negative emotions stored in these chakras, so you can feel lighter, peaceful, and more happier.

Buy A Journal & Start Writing

Writing can be extremely healing during a time like this. Write down your story. From the day you found out you were pregnant – to the miscarriage. Write down everything you’ve learned about yourself, about life. Writing is extremely therapeutic for your mind and soul, especially when it’s done with pen and paper. When we write with our hands, we connect to our heart chakra which allows us to release unwanted feelings that no longer serve us. Another thing you can do to help your heart heal is for 30 days after the miscarriage write down 3 things you’re grateful for. When going through something as traumatic as a miscarriage it’s easy to fall into a space of victimhood. You’re filled with so much grief and pain. These lower emotions can store around the heart chakra making you feel depressed and alone. Writing down what you’re grateful for will move the energy around the heart to help you feel more unconditional love and peace.

Talk To The Soul Of The Baby

Doing a meditation and talking to the soul of your baby can be a healing practice. Talking to your baby can bring such peace and calm to the situation. When I have a client who has experienced a miscarriage we do a session that focuses on talking to the baby’s soul. It is a truly beautiful experience, which is healing for both mother and baby.

Having experienced a miscarriage was the toughest thing I have ever been through. That being said as a healer I do my best to peacefully move forward. Therefore I’ve created a meditation that helps to let go of grief and loss after a miscarriage.
Click the link of you wish to listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJnVf5gEevo

5 Simple Tips To Open Your Heart Chakra

Why Work With The Heart Chakra?

The Heart Chakra is one of the most essential chakras in our aura. If you look at the way our bodies are formed, the exact centre is located in the middle of the chest where the heart resides. Within every living thing, the centre is where source energy is encapsulated. When we are connected to source, this is when we feel more peace, joy, unconditional love, and compassion for others. We have the ability to deeply feel so many positive emotions when our Heart Chakra is open. Negative emotions can also be stored in our Heart Chakra. Emotions such as resentment, anger, hurt, loneliness, grief or sorrow can block the flow of the Heart Chakra, causing feelings of heaviness and/or depression in our emotional state of being. 

In Singapore, many of my clients often ask me, how can I heal and open my Heart Chakra?

 Below are 5 strategies to open this essential energy centre: 

Get Some Crystals and Precious Stones

Crystals such as rose quartz, moss agate, and jade have profound healing abilities on the Heart Chakra. Keeping these stones beside your bed while you sleep is a great way to move the energy around your heart. These stones promote feelings of unconditional love and peace. If you know a Reiki practitioner living in Singapore, they can channel love energy to these stones which makes the energy more prominent to promote further healing. 

Eat More Green Vegetables

Eating vegetables that come from the earth and are green can improve your health significantly. Moreover, not only are you improving your physical health, but your spiritual health benefits as well. Eating vegetables such as kale, spinach, cucumber, zucchini, lime, mint, and other green veggies can help clear the energy around your Heart Chakra. You will notice that when you eat more green vegetables, you will tend to feel happier and more energy throughout the day.  

Spend More Time In Nature

Living in Singapore we are blessed with access to an abundance of nature. Walking into a park, or a space where there are a lot of trees, plants, and grass is a great way to move the energy around your Heart Chakra. Visualise that the Life Force Energy all around you is penetrating into your Heart Chakra. A good mantra you can use while you’re in nature is: “My heart is a magnet for life force energy.” 

Be Happy & Smile More

Have you ever observed a person who smiles a lot. They look pretty happy don’t they? This might make you question if they are truly happy or if they just faking it. In 1872 Charles Darwin first posed the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings. “The free expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it,” he wrote. Many new studies are showing the benefits of smiling and how it affects our emotional state of being. Research shows that people who smile a lot, tend to experience more genuine feelings of happiness, joy and peace. So start smiling more, it costs nothing and opens up your heart. 

Forgive & Let Go Of Resentment

When you feel resentment and anger towards someone, you are only hurting yourself in the process. When we feel these dark emotions and don’t let go of them, this negative energy becomes stored around our Heart Chakra. One way to let go of this energy is to forgive everyone. Start off by sitting in a comfortable seated position. Start to focus on your breath. Then visualise someone that you want to forgive. After a couple of minutes repeat the mantra: “I forgive ___________ (insert person’s name). I am willing to release any anger, hurt or resentment towards __________ (insert person’s name). I replace with love and light.” This affirmation is extremely powerful and can move negative energy around the Heart Chakra. Author: Rishma Petraglia